Banky W on Adesua Etomi’s IVF Journey: A Testament to Strength, Sacrifice, and Faith

In a deeply candid interview on the Teju Baby Face Show, Nigerian singer, pastor, and entrepreneur Banky W (real name Olubankole Wellington) opened up about one of the most challenging seasons of his marriage to actress Adesua Etomi-Wellington. He described watching his wife endure repeated failed IVF cycles as one of the most humbling experiences of his life—an ordeal that reshaped his perception of strength, partnership, and faith.

The Emotional Toll of Repeated IVF Cycles

Banky W revealed that the fertility struggle was not just a medical challenge but a profound emotional and relational test. He shared, “In our journey to having children, I’ve seen her endure things that would break people. I’ve seen her when we were trying to have Hezekiah and we were going through IVF cycle after IVF cycle and it wasn’t working and she would get back on her feet and inject herself with whatever they said.”

This raw admission highlights a reality many couples face but rarely discuss publicly: the physical pain of injections, the emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment, and the financial strain of repeated treatments. According to the World Health Organization, infertility affects approximately 1 in 6 couples globally, yet stigma often silences these stories. By sharing their journey, Banky W and Adesua are helping to normalize conversations around fertility struggles, offering solace to others walking a similar path.

Redefining Strength and Partnership

Banky W noted that watching Adesua’s resilience during IVF cycles revealed a strength in her that he believes surpasses his own. This realization fundamentally changed how he views their marriage. He explained, “I’ve seen her put herself through. So is it now that I now say cooking is hard?”

This perspective shift is a powerful lesson in partnership. In many traditional relationships, domestic responsibilities like cooking are often undervalued or seen as secondary to career achievements. But Banky W’s statement reframes the narrative: when you witness your partner endure physical and emotional pain for the sake of family, everyday tasks become acts of love and service, not burdens. He now handles cooking regularly, viewing it as a small contribution compared to what Adesua has sacrificed.

Career Sacrifices and the Cost of Motherhood

Beyond the IVF treatments, Banky W highlighted a broader pattern of sacrifice. He shared, “I’ve seen her put her career on pause in some seasons because we were trying to have children. I mean, you know, what more can you ask of a wife and a mother than that?”

Adesua, a celebrated Nollywood actress known for roles in films like The Wedding Party and King of Boys, made the difficult decision to step back from her thriving career to prioritize family. This is a common but often invisible sacrifice made by women, particularly in creative industries where momentum is critical. According to a 2023 study by the Center for American Progress, women in the U.S. lose an estimated $295,000 in lifetime earnings after taking a career break for caregiving. While the context differs in Nigeria, the principle remains: the cost of motherhood—both financial and professional—is steep, and Adesua’s willingness to bear it speaks volumes about her commitment.

Faith as an Anchor in Difficult Seasons

Banky W also emphasized that the fertility journey drew them closer to God rather than apart. He said, “There’s certain difficult situations that I faced personally or that we faced as a couple that have drawn us even closer to God, like our wait for our children.”

This sentiment resonates with many who turn to spirituality during crises. For couples facing infertility, faith can provide a framework for hope, patience, and acceptance. Research published in the Journal of Religion and Health (2021) found that couples who integrate spiritual practices into their fertility journey often report lower levels of anxiety and depression. Banky W and Adesua’s openness about their faith offers a model for others seeking meaning in suffering.

The Foundation of Their Relationship: Friendship and Timing

Banky W also shared insights into the early days of their relationship, revealing that they spent nearly a year and a half in friendship before officially dating. He humorously noted, “I was toasting but she was not roasting for almost a year and a half.” Once they began dating officially on October 1st, he proposed just four and a half months later, in February.

This timeline underscores the importance of building a strong foundation of friendship before romance. Relationship experts often advise that couples who invest time in friendship develop deeper trust and communication, which can be crucial during crises like infertility. Banky W admitted that before meeting Adesua, he had never been in a relationship that lasted a year—a testament to how transformative their connection was.

Adesua’s Honest Acknowledgment

Adesua, who was present during the interview, did not shy away from the reality of their journey. She simply stated, “Has it been easy every time? No.” This understated honesty is refreshing in a culture that often pressures couples to present a perfect image. By acknowledging the difficulty, she validates the experiences of others who may feel alone in their struggles.

A Story of Hope and Resilience

The couple welcomed their first son, Zaiah, in 2021 after publicly sharing their infertility struggle. They have since welcomed a second son, Hezekiah. Their story is a beacon of hope for couples navigating similar challenges. It reminds us that while the path to parenthood can be fraught with pain, it can also deepen love, strengthen faith, and build unshakable resilience.

For those currently in the trenches of IVF or infertility, Banky W and Adesua’s journey offers practical and emotional takeaways:

• Lean on your partner: Let them see your vulnerability; it can strengthen your bond.
• Redefine roles: Domestic tasks are not gendered—they are acts of love.
• Find your anchor: Whether faith, therapy, or community, have a support system.
• Be patient with the process: Friendship and timing matter in relationships.

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