Permit Yourself to Be Yourself: Osinbajo, Awosika, and Matel-Okoh Champion Authentic Leadership for Women

In a powerful convergence of Nigeria’s most influential female voices, a clarion call for women to embrace their authentic selves in leadership roles resonated across a corporate summit in Lagos. Dolapo Osinbajo, wife of the former Vice President; Ibukun Awosika, the trailblazing former Chairman of First Bank Nigeria; and Bola Matel-Okoh, a respected corporate board expert, collectively dismantled the myth that women must sacrifice their core identity for professional success.

The insights were shared at ‘The Executive Women Summit’ (TEWS), held in Victoria Island, Lagos. Under the theme “Leading From Within: An Authentic Approach To Leadership,” the event, organized by the Women’s Lifestyle Hub, served as a pivotal forum for dissecting the nuanced challenges and opportunities facing women in the upper echelons of corporate and public life.

The Core of Authentic Leadership: Aligning Internal Values with External Expression

Bola Matel-Okoh, the event’s convener and founder of Women’s Lifestyle Hub, set the tone by defining authenticity not as a buzzword, but as a fundamental principle of effective leadership. For her, it is the critical alignment between who a woman is internally and how she expresses herself externally.

“When we talk about authenticity, it’s about aligning who you are internally and how you express yourself,” Ms. Matel-Okoh explained. “I feel it is a meaningful conversation for us to have, to grant ourselves permission to be ourselves. As Her Excellency Dolapo Osinbajo so eloquently put it, ‘You free me, let me be myself.’ The truth is, the best version of yourself—and even the worst version of yourself—is ultimately better than the best version of anybody else.”

She emphasized that the journey to authentic leadership begins with self-acceptance. It’s a journey away from the exhausting performance of conforming to external expectations and toward the empowering reality of owning one’s unique perspective and style.

“It’s really about being true to who you are on the inside and aligning that with how you express yourself on the outside,” she added. “My hope is that every attendee leaves this event giving themselves that permission.”

The Ripple Effect of Authentic Leadership

Matel-Okoh, who also founded BMO Advisory Services, further elaborated on the transformative power of authentic leadership within an organization. She posited that when a leader is genuinely herself, it creates a cultural ripple effect, empowering others to do the same.

“The beauty of authentic leadership is that it gives other people permission to live their authentic lives too,” she noted. “Many professionals, especially women, are locked in an internal tussle, trying to fit a mold. I loved how free Her Excellency was in discussing her own experiences. That vulnerability is powerful. It’s about allowing ourselves, and by extension our teams, to be the best version of who we truly are, not who the world says we should be.”

Diplomacy and Values: Navigating the Public Sphere with Integrity

The summit’s highlight was a compelling panel session featuring Dolapo Osinbajo and Ibukun Awosika, who delved into the delicate balance between maintaining diplomatic grace and unwavering authenticity, particularly in high-stakes, public-facing roles.

Dolapo Osinbajo, a legal practitioner who navigated eight years as Nigeria’s Second Lady, provided a unique perspective on leadership from a non-elected, yet highly visible, position. She argued that while diplomacy and compassion are non-negotiable in public service, they need not come at the cost of one’s core values.

“Diplomacy and compassion are required while operating within a strict governmental and social framework. For me, authenticity has served as a guide in navigating these spaces,” Mrs. Osinbajo shared. “My husband’s job description as Vice President was clear, but as his wife, it wasn’t. So, I believe each person in a non-elected position has to decide what they want to do and how they want to do it.”

She drew a distinction between the freedom of private life and the responsibilities of public service, emphasizing that the latter demands a posture of neutrality and inclusivity to effectively serve a diverse population.

Mission Over Identity: The Authenticity Compass

Mrs. Osinbajo stressed that authenticity is rooted in a clear sense of mission. She illustrated this with a personal anecdote that moved the conversation beyond gender, ethnicity, or religion.

“Recently, I was on a mission team and realized I was the only Yoruba person among twelve. But it wasn’t about ethnicity; it was about the goal and who was best for each task. That’s what authenticity means: focusing on the mission, not identity,” she stated.

“If we’re clear about what we’re meant to do, whether in our family, community, or nation, we won’t pretend or create lies. We will be true to our mission and ourselves.”

She also addressed the practical need for balance, describing the self as a complex “fruit cake” of components. A leader must know which aspect of themselves to bring forward in a given context without betraying their whole self.

“You are your authentic self, a mix of many components. You have to represent yourself as a whole, but you also understand context. You wouldn’t go on a government stage and start preaching a sermon. That balance is key.”

Owning Your Space: The Corporate Boardroom Battle for Authenticity

Ibukun Awosika, who made history as the first female Chairman of First Bank of Nigeria, brought a formidable corporate perspective to the discussion. Having led in a notoriously male-dominated industry, she spoke directly to the pressure women face to conform in corporate settings.

She expressed deep concern about women losing their identity and voice in the pursuit of acceptance, warning that trading one’s values is the steepest price to pay for a seat at the table.

“Rather than doing what is easy or expedient, I’ve always believed in being authentic and standing for what’s right. The most authentic part of who you are is your value, and that’s often what people trade off to please others,” Ms. Awosika asserted. “It’s easy to make everyone happy and lose yourself. Many women fall into this trap, especially in male-dominated rooms. They feel they need to speak or act in a certain way to impress.”

The Power of Owning Your Speech and Your Mistakes

For Awosika, the antidote to this pressure is a firm commitment to owning one’s space, speech, and story. She argued that the ultimate test in any boardroom is not a person’s likability, but the value of their intellect and contributions.

“You must own your speech, your story, and your space. Because at the end of the day, what the room will test is not your personality but the value of your mind, what you bring to the table,” she advised.

In a refreshing take on imperfection, she reframed the fear of making mistakes as an essential part of the authentic learning process. She encouraged women to be as comfortable with their successes as they are with their errors, viewing the latter as stepping stones to growth.

“We tend to conform too easily. The worst that can happen is you make a mistake, and that’s fine. When people correct you, you learn. Next time, you’ll be better. Learning to be proud of your successes and comfortable with your mistakes is part of being authentic,” she said.

“When you stay true to yourself, even being wrong can teach you how to be right. So, engage with people in your own way. Don’t hide who you are. Be respectful and diplomatic, but own your truth. Remodelling your environment to accept who you are is key; that’s how we can truly thrive.”

A Collective Mandate for the Future of Women’s Leadership

The summit, which also featured other luminaries like Yewande Zaccheaus of Eventful LTD, Oluyemisi Edun, Managing Director of FCMB, and Osayi Alile, CEO of ACT Foundation, culminated in a unified message: the future of effective leadership is inherently authentic.

The conversations underscored that authenticity is not about rigidity or a refusal to adapt. Instead, it is about bringing the full weight of one’s unique experiences, values, and intellect to every challenge. It is about navigating the necessary diplomacy of professional life without a corrosive compromise of self.

For the rising generation of female leaders in Nigeria and beyond, the guidance from Osinbajo, Awosika, and Matel-Okoh provides a robust framework. It champions a leadership style where compassion coexists with conviction, where mission supersedes narrow identity politics, and where the courage to be one’s true self becomes the most powerful asset in any leader’s toolkit. The mandate is clear: permit yourself to be yourself, for that is the foundation upon which lasting impact is built.

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